Who needs drugs?

Do you get amused by the amount of stupid people around you at any given point of time? I do, very amused. Every morning when I wake up and walk out of my home there are new stupid people around me doing newer stupider things. After a lot of thinking and research I have concluded my theory of the reasons of stupidity in human beings.

 

The society as we all know is based on defying all the rules of nature. One more such incident is over-protection of the offspring by the parents. When a tigress has a litter it is extremely rare that more than 2 cubs will survive. The reason the other don’t survive is because they are not fit enough to live in this world. (Sometimes of course they get plain lucky!) In case of humans the parents and the society make sure that the offspring survives. No matter how unfit or unworthy of existing.

 

That is the reason why we are surrounded by so many unfit/stupid people. These people should have died when they were 3-4 days old, maybe eaten up by a cat or swallowed by a snake, but they have been protected and made to live.

It all fades away slowly,

Like memories, distant and vague,

Hidden behind the dense clouds and fog.

It all goes, slithering away from him.

The smoke, the buildings,

Stinking bars and wild orphans, like him.

Running after cars and swallowing smoke,

Falling down and just lying there, waiting.

 

He feels it detaching, like hooks on the back.

Ripping the skin. The threads stretching.

Blood. Pain. Why?

From lifelessness to life is it painful?

They all are. Dreams and fantasies.

Just pain. For what?

Leaving the dead behind?

 

The wet road glittering. Is it Sinai?

Green breasts of the mother rising up.

To the sky.

The ghost of the roads. Never stopping.

Never moving. A daze. Traffic.

Black pearls on her green breast.

Breathless him. Should I embrace her?

Fear of perverting the mother.

Purity. The breast, always washed.

River and clean waters.

From where? To where?

Like him, maybe.

They purify he perverts.

 

A virgin by the road.

Playing one moment.

Run over the other.

15 days old maybe.

Playful, big eyes.

Now painting the glittering road. Now red.

The mother. Madness in her eyes.

Helpless. Who?

Looks at the ghost. You. All of you.

Accusing eyes. Bark. Howl.

Rolls over in pain.

Disbelief. Disowning the truth.

Was here a moment ago, feeding from my breast.

Can’t!

You. And you. All!

 

What good is death with no blood?

Ran over again.

The virgin’s body, blood oozing.

What good is to cry?

Did he? Really? Murder!! Murder!

Maybe.

 

Perverseness. Road. Rivers. Factories.

Judas. Noah. Truth. Chocolates.

Ice cold sounds. Valley. Oil.

Dead fishes. Whiskey. Rhymes. Advertisement.

Hatred. Love. Living meat. Soil.

Clouds. Ash. Window.

Her breasts. The pearls. Squirming truth.

Shame. Stone. Those who die.

The virgin. The rapist.

The mother. The killer.

 

I am all or nothing.

 

 

The ghost. He walks.

By the window, a girl

Dancing in a drunken daze

To soft music and the sound of a river

He walks in the rains.

Why?

Tears? Love? Lost?

Walking down the stairs of wilderness

Thinking? Praying? God?

Isn’t it time yet?

Burn the reason? The choice? He asks.

In a whisper, too loud. The toad calls.

Too profane you are.

 

Young couples drowning.

Look at him. Wanting to believe ghosts don’t exist.

Ideal world this is. Happiness and love.

No we don’t see ghosts, they are ugly and washed!

Drinking from each others eyes.

Laughter. Mocking.

Aren’t you dead yet?

We wish you were.

The girl with crimson eyes giggles.

The giggles float in the air,

Piercing the ghost’s skin.

Blood? Wax? What oozes out?

 

Swaying to songs of lust and lost love.

She asks with innocence “Do you still?”

 

I cant. Choices. Reason. I can’t.

I don’t want.

Not a master, always a slave.

Tell me, don’t ask.

To be true or to lie?

Love or not to love?

Isn’t it enough?

I lived through it he says.

Chose death. Last choice you said.

Liar!

I died. Then why the reason?

Broke your promise. Judas on the cross.

Rs. 900 for a night she says.

Is it too much for OTC resurrection?

The old gypsy man who died waiting for his son, gave me a box some 7-8 years back on his deathbed. Today morning I finally managed to open it.  I saw what was in there but I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept it. I hope i do.

R.I.P

Who is  the prophet?

Buddha or

the tree from which he sucked nirvana like a vampire?

What is home?

The wall or the road?


Who is the prophet?

The gay bald man?

The freaks, the junkys, morarity or paradiso,

those who speak endlessly about something,

Someone who is in a loony bin?

Should I visit him sometime?

Will they let me in?

But then will they let me out?


The ones who are abandoned,

lying alone in some room in some motel on some highway,

searching for beauty, writing without commas and grammar,

drowned in thick cigarette smoke?


The man under the flyover who died anonymously?
The parking man?

The railway attendant?


A million dollars or
a few moments
spent in realizing that eternity is a whore,

like you, like me and her.

Is it even a choice? But is anything?


Can I buy some eternity?

Can you pass me some time?

What’s between thoughts?

When was I really scared of you?

Why is y spelled as why?

Is it another ugly trick of yours?

Like gravity and reality?


Don’t open the door,
it’s so beautiful outside that its dangerous.

Did you dream of me last night again?

I stopped dreaming at 12.

What’ll you do about it?

Prison for violation of act Reality 3a?


Why can’t you be me?

And I be you and lets leave him alone?


I’ll stay ugly and rotten.

Will you hug me then?

Or will you call the god?

Will you abandon god if he’s gay?

Is there a heaven?

Are you the god?

Will you let me in
or are you still mad at me for not letting you fuck me?


I’m gonna bunk heaven and hell and go for a movie!

Anyone game?


Mama I’m not high!


Isn’t alcohol a waste?
Did Ivs ever cure reality?


Psst! You! Yes you!
Come here.

Have you ever tried love?

It’s addictive.

They banned it.

But you can still score some

From the stranger and the enemy that looks like you

I have a li’l left, a small stash.

Will you help me?

Is war a rehab?


She was right
Love ruined me,

But it’s worth a try,
shooting some up the veins.

Split. Heat. Boom. Abyss.

He sits at the window,

The song changes from ek baar muskura do by munni begum to i cant get no satisfaction by stones.. And i'm sitting in the office, taking a sip from a cup of black coffee with insides that look like oblivion. I'm bored!

I was bored 2 months back.

Then I thought hah, lets change jobs, cities, and everything, might bring back my interest in this life.. So, that what I did, moved from delhi to mumbai, between the transitions i traveled a bit, to rishikesh, goa, ahmedabad and pune... So wat more do i need to get inspired and kick back! But I'm bored again!

Song changes to 99 red love balloons by bjork.

I think it is a serious disorder, I went to college for 6 months and then decided to drop out, coz I had enough of the stupid fy lit. students. I was bored. What was i gonna do now! Join Dad's business. Yippeee! Worked with dad for an year and damn! I was bored again! Quit that!
Now what? something happened and I landed in adveritising copywriting, woah! Dayumn cool! I be writin ads! :D
Worked in A'bad had a ball and then one day, i got bored! Went to Delhi!
Thrills thrills! changed jobs! New city, new people, new work!
Worked in delhi, for an year and yes, I was bored!

Moved to Mumbai, changed jobs, yeah baby thrills!
Sea! Media Hub!Fast Local! scam Ads!
I started work and tired real ahrd not to even go there, but after a month I was Bored!

Got in touch with Ken Babbs, I was jumping around to have talked to an original Merry Prankster, the guy who was on the bus, who experienced Oswley's acid, shared a joint and the road with Ken Kessey and Neal Cassady! I couldnt believe i was talking to him! I was so wide awake that i was dreaming! but the thrill faded away! and i got bored!

Song changes to Ace of spades by Motorhead.

Ok! Lets get rid of this boredom, lets go to a'bad on bike! Alone! Night Ridin'! Damn! Thrills, thrills!
Did that, enjoyed every painful and beautiful second of it! Came back, all alive and kicking, fuck the motherfuckers!
After 2 days I was bored!

I'm bored and sick of everything right now! I'm bored of writing this post and stupid headlines for a travel agency. i'm bored of scam ads, i'm bored of looking at award books, of ever cribbing clients, of locals, of breathing, of blinking, of wearing socks, of taking a drag, everything!

Song changes to Hello I love you by the Doors.

why? How can everyone around me go on and on living the life they live! I wonder is karan getting bored in Delhi, oh he has just come back from Pushkar and leaving for Indore. Is richa getting bored back home? Nah! She's too tied up with her work to get bored and her marathon Friends DVD set.

do you dont you want me to love you!

song changes to Helter Skelter by the Beatles!

So what's the fuckin' cure? no this is not the nicotine and caffiene overdose that i thought it was! They don't last that long and they don't explain all the bunked classes in secondary and higher secondary school! I wonder why I did that all the time? I guess just because I was bored! think i should check with the doctor, if this is a disease, rather have they known of any disease like this or this is plain addiction!

I guess this is just plain addiction that i need to beat, are there any rehabs for this? If i dont get my fuckin thrills all the time and I'm not under the influence of fun, i get bored and that casues some serious damaged behaviour!

song changes to hero of the day by Metallica!

when i look around me, i see this guy sitting on the next table who has been writing headlines since past 10 years now, and hasnt managed to get bored! Kudos! My dad's running the same ol' business since past 20 years and he's still at it, then why do i get bored? Another thing that I notice is that i seldom get bored of people, coz with them i can go yak yakking for hours and hours and either they yak back or slap me or walk out and i keep following them yakking, but i dont get bored of them! I left school, college, cities and jobs but never left the people behind, I'm still there hovering around them! now thats fun! but then doing scam ads was fun too, so was writing a lot of crappy stuff and making people read it with pride then abuse them and kick them when they said its not that good!

song changes to hey you by floyd

I'm missing something, i guess... AH fuck it! This is my nth introspective post and it doesnt make any sense like all other! What's more

I'm bored.

Just a few days back when i was busy spraying all the empty boards with Anarchy and my roomie and sister were looking at me with eyes brimming with despise and fear that oh damn he'll ruin the new place!! While i was busy spraying a glass pane in the other room, my roomie was watching reports of Musharaff going crazy, arresting people and giving explainations! Guess the night before he saw an incomplete documentary on Hitler! Amongst all the chaos, Imran Khan came on the screen and started speaking in a fake american accent about how Musharraf is not doing justice and he said "there'll be chaos and anarchy everywhere!" Listening to this my bald roomie started jumping like a boiling egg saying "Anarchy!Anarchy!Anarchy!Anarchy!Anarchy!Anarchy!" And this wasnt the first time, lot of people see that anarchy symbol tattooed on my neck and give me crazy reactions! Like an Afghan born american tattoo artist asked me in Delhi, "Are you a gangster?"

It is just so painful for me that people consider Anarchy synonymous to chaos, violence and terrorism! I went on wikipedia the other day searching for anarchy and how the idealogy translated into violence instead of peaceful existance of all, without a ruler! www.wikipedia.org states 3 definitions of anarchy

• "Absence of government; a state of lawlessness due to the absence or inefficiency of the supreme power; political disorder."
• "A theoretical social state in which there is no governing person or body of persons, but each individual has absolute liberty (without the implication of disorder)."
• "Absence or non-recognition of authority and order in any given sphere."

On reading the complete article I realized the word is being misused if i shall say that since the French Revolution. Any act against the authority is labeled as Anarchy. Why?

Anarchy in greek means "without rules/ruler", if some demented people call themselves Anarchists and go around killing people and bombing political buildings, why should it give the whole thing a bad name? Rather the whole philosophy behind Anarchy is that people at large are sane enough to co-exist without any law and order! Anarchy is about absolute equality, it is what democracy wants to become, its what communism strived to be and dictators during fear.

Then there are people who say anarchy is just theory and ideal state. Well, isnt that is Democracy and Communism, aren't we still living under dictatorship? I dont know about the other nations, but India sure lives under a deictatorship of sorts! I dont consider choosing between Hitler and Mussolini as democracy!. The only people i disrespect the most are Indian Army officers and our politicians.

After all this, I accept I still don't have the balls to go to the streets and stand up for the nation, its people. Oh! No! not alone!(all the stuff about how a single man starts a revolution doesnt make me do it!) Anarchy maybe Utopic but I'm not quitting, i know everyone around me is equal, no one is worse or is better and never will be!

Just a request read about Anarchy, all you can lay your hands on, try wiki for starters!

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!” - Jack Kerouac